Howdy, friends!
Have you ever noticed the way in which conditioned mind will play both sides in any given debate, wherever there is a decision to be made? The conditioned system has but end, one purpose, which is to create a self living perpetually in our evolutionarily derived survival system. In order to accomplish that end, however, it works both sides of any and every duality.
For example, I had a conversation with somebody the other day about a situation she was in with her elderly dog. The dog was failing, clearly, but she and her husband did not know the cause, and so they could only guess as to the proper course of action to take. They faced a choice: should they spend the necessary money required in order to discover what ailed the dog, which would have been several hundred dollars at least, so that they would know how best to care for her, or would it be better to let the dog decline naturally, without aid that might be available, and save the money? This would be a most difficult dilemma for any of us, I would imagine, and it was especially so for them, as they have three children and money is far from plentiful.
My friend told me that she felt trapped in a circular debate within her mind as she attempted to make the decision. No matter which choice she made, the conditioning in her mind told her, it was the wrong choice, and she should feel bad about herself. If they were to spend the money, then that would be irresponsible, the voices of conditioned mind told her, because that money was needed by their children. If they didn’t spend the money, however, then that also would mean that they are irresponsible, only this time towards the dog. How is she to make the decision, she asked, if both decisions are wrong?
Such a good example, don’t you think? Whenever we’re facing a lose-lose proposition we can know that we’re involved with conditioned mind. Life is never lose-lose. Life in its natural unfolding consists of problems like this one that we need to resolve, and there is always a path through that takes care of every legitimate need involved. There never is a path through that will satisfy conditioned mind, and there’s no way everyone’s ego desires are going to be satisfied, but if we approach life from what at the monastery was called ‘the place that is the best and most compassionate for all’, such a place can always be found.
I suggested to my friend that she do the hard work necessary in order to step out of the conditioned should she was involved in, and look from this larger place of compassion and clarity. She has a strong practice, and so this was something she was able to do over the next couple days. Finally she realized that the correct thing to do–the thing that was the best and most compassionate for all, including for her children–was find out what was going on with the family dog so that they could care for it most skillfully. They would be okay financially, she realized, and it was most important for the whole family, including her kids, that they do the best they could by their old family friend. And so that is what they did. Once they made the decision she was able to relax, let go, and release herself from conditioned mind.
That’s the way it works! Freedom lies in the place that transcends duality.
Just to finish the story, it turns out the dog has bladder cancer and a gigantic tumor. The condition is terminal, and so they are offering the dog palliative care. Let’s take a moment to breathe deeply and offer love and compassion to this beloved animal and all creatures that are passing out of life today and these next days.
In peace,
David