Happy day to you, everyone!
I have a file in my mind that is full of practical life principles, which I refer to now and again for guidance as I navigate the various circumstances of my life. These are bits of wisdom that I have gathered from my own experience in life, and, most commonly, from the innumerable failures of different kinds that have occurred. The good thing about failure, of course, if a person has an open mind and an inclination to learn and grow, is that nothing is a better teacher. A failure of integrity can hardly do otherwise than teach a person the value of integrity, and it’s means, because the consequences of a failure of integrity, and really of a failure of any kind, is invariably painful and unpleasant, and so contains within it a powerful motivation to make different choices in the future, and to discover how to make those same choices. You know what I mean, I’m sure, and I’ll bet you have your own set of principles that you follow. See if this one is in your collection:
It feels good to do the right thing.
We’re faced with choices of all kinds every day, and numerous times every day. Often we are required to choose between something that is healthy, compassionate, a form of duty, or kind, and something that is self-centered, unhealthy, superficially pleasurable, and has unkind consequences for oneself and others. Right? And when presented with this kind of choice we tend to know which is the correct path to take. It is of course sometimes unclear which is the healthy choice, or which is the one that is actually unselfish, just because we don’t have enough experience to see the difference, but usually this is not the case: usually we know what our duty to ourselves requires us to do. And, just as commonly, there’s a sore temptation to follow the selfish path because of the pleasure involved, and also the eagle validation, which we are all addicted to, involved in acting from self-centeredness.
When faced with such a choice, I find it to be helpful to remind myself that it feels good to do the right thing–the thing that truly takes care of me and others–and that it feels bad to do the wrong thing–the thing that serves ego instead. Of course, at the moment the decision is made it often appears that it will feel better to do the wrong thing. This is one of the many things that makes life as a human so tricky and hard to navigate skillfully. We see pleasure as an obvious guide, and it’s easy to assume that what feels immediately good will take us to good places. This is not generally the case, however, in my experience. The immediate pleasure is typically shallow and superficial, and there’s nothing in it that will show a person what is truly in their best interest. If one can become familiar with the deep pleasure that comes, after a time, from the recognition that one has acted well, skillfully, with maturity, and with disinterest, and if one can hold fast to the promise of that pleasure when temptation arises, then often, at least for me, that’s enough to carry a person through to big picture clarity, and also to the willingness to do what is correct, and which takes true care of the human life we are each the one custodian of.
And so it’s a good practice to observe the consequences of one’s actions, with an eye to the deepest sort of pleasure, and a willingness to let go of the temptation that egocentric pleasure recommends. It’s just no good to do something we know we shouldn’t do, or to avoid doing something we know we should do, and then feel bad about it. Just no good! And it is so good, and so sweet, to understand that one has done something difficult, but right, and that we measure up, at least to some partial degree, against what is truly possible for us.
Just something to consider as you go through your day, and go through your life…. Take care, friends, and have a good practice day!
In peace,
David