We Do What We Do Because We Get What We Get

Good day to you, friends!

You may have seen the post I made a couple days ago called “One Process Does not Lead to Another.” In that post I suggested that if we do and think things that cause us to feel deprived, or insecure, or different than (to use new examples), we cannot expect that doing and thinking to produce the opposite–in this case, feelings of abundance, security, or belonging. It just doesn’t work that way, because one process does not lead to another. If a person wants to experience abundance, security, or belonging, then they need to be abundant, secure, and connected in their actions and their thoughts. We’ll be talking about this tonight during our usual online Thursday meditation and discussion group. If you’d like to join in and don’t have the information you need, just let me know.

Here’s another way to say the same thing, sort if from the opposite point of view:

We do what we do because we get what we get.

In other words, we always do what we do in order to get the results of what we do–although it’s often the case that this happens on a level that is unconscious and invisible. For example, why would someone sabotage a perfectly good relationship? This happens all the time, of course. Why would someone get it into their head that the other person is not good enough for them, or they are not good enough for the other person; that the other person is too tall or too short; too talkative or not talkative enough; that they don’t like the right things, or believe the right things, or whatever, when all this is not actually true or doesn’t matter? Why would a person make ridiculous excuses in order to end a perfectly good relationship, in other words? Because of what they get. What do they get? They get to feel that they are no good at relationship, perhaps, and will never have one that works. Or they get to believe they are unlovable, or that everyone else is unlovable, or some such thing. Perhaps they get to be an outsider in this world, and can blame their unhappiness on the state of humanity. There are lots of things a person might get from sabotage of this sort.

People might object, and they often do, that these are unhappy things, and nobody in their right mind would want to experience these unhappy things, and to actively cause these things to happen. I couldn’t agree more. Nobody in their right mind! But how often are we in our right mind? Not very often, I’m afraid. Much more often we are dedicated to the process of being victims in this life, so that we may avoid taking true responsibility for what happens to us. In a certain way, it’s a much easier thing to cling to a belief that I am unlovable, to use one of a multitude of examples, and destroy any chances to experience the untruth of that, than to accept that I am lovable, and do the work of turning myself into someone that another person might like to spend time with. It’s scary to understand who we truly are, because then we cannot blame anyone else for our failings. If we accept the reality of who we are, in other words, then we no longer have excuses.

The same principle applies when we act consciously rather than unconsciously. Why would I act courageously and in a way that goes against my conditioned system? Why would I speak and act vulnerably and authentically with others? Why would I sacrifice my egocentric desires out of a sense of integrity, and for the good of all? Because of what I get. In these cases, what I’m going to get is the experience of my true nature, and the joy of living, of speaking and acting, from a place of freedom and of authenticity.

And so you might pay attention as you go through your day, and as you go through your life, to see what you get as a result of what you do. That will tell you who you believe yourself to be in that moment.

In peace,